Blaming others serves a purpose. First of all, it gets you off the hook for any responsibility, and secondly, it shifts the attention off you and onto another. You can then go on your merry way feeling self righteous. My mother never loved me, and it is all her fault that I became an alcoholic. Blaming others can also give you permission to keep right on doing drugs as much as you want. You, and your constant nagging, no wonder I take drugs—I need to, to put up with you!
Alcoholics and addicts can have excuses a mile long for adverse events caused by their addiction, like a car accident, being fired from a job, forgetting to pick the kids up at school, and “no one cares about me”. Alcoholics drink because it is Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, New Year’s Day or Rosh Hashanah. They drink because the sun is shining, or because the sky is overcast. Their addiction and their complaint for the day is always someone else’s fault.
Alcoholics and addicts may blame others for their addiction until they realize the problem lies with them. Even then, with the will to face their addiction, there can be lots of emotions and pain to wade through before they can completely own the truth. Blaming others keeps people stuck in a circle of negativity. The weight of the addiction can’t be shed because, they think it isn’t their fault.
When an alcoholic or addict owns the truth about their addiction, they are, in essence, taking responsibility for themselves. They are taking back ownership of their life, their behaviors, emotions and actions. This is where and when healing begins. They may look slovenly and have a rat’s nest of uncombed hair. They may have the shakes. Still, that is who they are in the moment. They are alive, and they will get better with the help of others, and with their own willingness to take responsibility for their addiction and recovery.
Admitting you’re addicted to drugs or that you’re an alcoholic may be one the most difficult things you’ll ever do in your life. It can also save your life, and lead you to grace, forgiveness, love, kindness, generosity of spirit, a moral compass and days of joy.
“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.” ― Brené Brown
Infinity Malibu offers a structured, distraction free environment, body, mind and spirit healing, and is the ultimate rehab for discretion and confidentiality for patients. Call 888-266-9048