What Can I Do about the Gay People at my Meeting?

It sounds as if you are uncomfortable having gay people at the meeting you attend. If that’s the case, try asking yourself why you feel uncomfortable? Many people grew up with false information about gays, lesbians, transgender and bisexual people. False information if often generated out of fear, for political advantages like pitting one group against another or because of religious misconceptions.

Why do you feel uncomfortable? Is it because of a different dress code to which you and your circle of friends adhere? Do you only think of LGBT folks from a sexual perspective? Are you afraid they might come on to you? Since you are in recovery, you can put your discomfort to work. The work can be termed as live and let live, or learning tolerance.

It’s similar to having an argument with a friend. You think you know what’s best, and he thinks he does. You can walk away from the argument, become so angry that you put your friendship in jeopardy, agree to disagree, or open your mind and consider their perspective on the matter.

Don’t be afraid to educate yourself about gay people. Gay people are not perverts, nor do they molest little boys and girls or try to recruit them. They cook and clean and work and play just like you. Gay people don’t choose to be gay, they are just born that way. Many gay people are very creative and artistic, brilliant musicians and scientists—just like straight people.

Perhaps you already know all this about gay people and are still uncomfortable. Gather your courage and go up and talk to one during the break or after a meeting. Chances are, they go to the meeting for the same reason as you. Another thing to help with your discomfort is compassion. Imagine what it is like to grow up knowing you’re gay, trying to hide it from your parents and family, getting bullied at school, discrimination in hiring, shame, fear of AIDS and hate crimes.

If you are still uncomfortable being at a meeting in which gay people attend, you have the option of getting into therapy. Perhaps you have some unconscious feelings that are making you squeamish or that you don’t want to face. Recovery is about discovering who you are and how to live fully and get along with others.

“For thousands of years, there have been lies about being gay or not being gay. If you know they’re lies, you’re free.”—Miguel Angel Ruiz

Treatment addresses the whole person—the intermingling of addiction, behavior and personality. Infinity Malibu’s gorgeous hillside estate offers calming ocean views and walks. Our clinicians are there to help you regenerate your life. Call us today. 888-266-9048

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