Boundaries are lines of demarcation. They are the shallow and deep ends of the pool, the wading area of the beach, and the shelf where it drops off. Have you gone too far or not far enough? What’s in between and where’s the limit? In order to set healthy boundaries one needs to understand the in between and the limits of their physical and emotional selves, and those of others.
You know the guy in the office who stands so close you can smell his breath, or the woman who insists on wearing perfume even though people are allergic to the scent? Time after time you step back from the guy, and put signs in the ladies’ room about the perfume. These people have poor boundaries. They may be clueless about good boundaries, may not care or have any respect for others.
You are responsible for setting healthy boundaries for yourselves and letting others know when they have crossed a line with you. Boundaries help keep you comfortable, safe and healthy. When you were drinking alcoholically, taking opioids or other addictive drugs you may not have cared or recognized when you crossed someone’s boundary. You may not have noticed when someone was taking advantage of you.
While getting clean and sober may have brought back your sense of boundaries, others may not be as fortunate. They may not have been taught good boundaries when they were children. If a person was violated as a child, physically, sexually, verbally or emotionally, their boundaries were ignored. When these types of abuses occur, the child’s sense of self gets zapped. They often don’t know where they begin and end—that is, they don’t know who they are in relation to themselves and others. If this scenario is familiar to you, find professional help.
Setting good boundaries can be learned through careful observation. Watch how others react to something you say or do. Perhaps you have a tendency to offer too much information about yourself. It’s no ones’ business how much money you make, your pant size, or what you think of your sex life. People may think you disrespect them when your give too much information. Good boundaries are about common sense, being open and honest about your comfort zone with your colleagues in the office, friendships and love relationships.
Your personal boundaries protect the inner core of your identity and your right to choices. — Gerard Manley Hopkins
Infinity Malibu respects your privacy. It’s one of many boundaries we have for keeping you safe and comfortable as you learn about addiction and live in your newfound freedom. We want your growth to be infinite. Call now 855-608-8495