Whatever the substance, one contributing factor to addiction, is perfectionism. Nobody is perfect, even if you win a gold medal at the Olympics. Striving to be perfect in everything you do is a merry-go-round for disaster.
There’s an underlying reason for your perfectionism that was probably planted when you were little. Not being seen, being emotionally neglected or criticized can push a child towards perfectionism. If you grew up in a dysfunctional home you might not have felt secure. You might not have been reassured when you fell and scraped your knee. All these slights build up to a point where you, the child begins to compensate. If you kept your room neat, Mommy wouldn’t be angry all the time. You did everything the teacher said in school, so she would reward you. The seeds of perfectionism were planted.
As you grew older you forgot how awful it felt to be neglected or abused. After all, you were at the top of your class, got into the best school, married the perfect spouse, and so forth. At some point, all you strove for wasn’t enough. You became irritable because you couldn’t make the perfect tort or grow roses without attracting Japanese beetles, or the other guy got the promotion you thought you deserved. You couldn’t seem to handle the disappointments that come along in your life.
Your self-esteem mask fell off—the one you’ve worn since childhood. A beer or sherry at lunch would be ok. You heard about a guy in the office who takes drugs. Did you dare ask him if you could try some? Sure you did—anything to feel better about yourself.
If you are addicted to alcohol or drugs please find some help for yourself. There are thousands of excellent therapists who can help. You’ll be guided in your recovery from substance abuse. You’ll learn to reparent yourself. You’ll come to see that underneath your perfectionism is a brave being who just wants to love and be loved.
Consider what you will be most proud of when you are at death’s door? Will it be the weedless lawn you once grew? Will it be the money you made, the cars you drove, your spotless kitchen? It probably won’t be any of those achievements you once thought would bring you acceptance and approval. When you die, what will matter most will be the people you loved and who loved you.
Treatment can be a transformative process when you find a program that works for you as well as with you. At Infinity Treatment Centers, lasting recovery is attainable at last. Our luxury residences offer the highest privacy and comfort while our clinical program provides the personalized approach necessary for infinite change. Call us today for information: (855) 544-0611