Healing relationships takes time. Before we can expect to begin healing a relationship, it is a good idea to build up time in recovery. When we go to meetings, meet with our therapist or join a group therapy, we learn about the addiction or alcoholism. Learning happens through listening and participating. It’s like osmosis. The more time we accumulate the greater our ability to reflect and understand why we acted the way we did.
We want our loved ones, spouses, and family to join in our celebration for being substance free. Perhaps they are relieved, and on some level happy for us, and maybe they are not ready to sing and dance with us. Their job taking care of us ended when we got sober, and they have a lot of their own pain and hurt with which to deal. We need to respect our loved ones and understand their healing time can be different from ours.
Can we blame our actions on our addiction? We have a disease, right? Yes, we have a disease, and, we need to own it. Taking responsibility for the wounds we inflected in a relationship is a must. It also teaches us about humility. Showing our humility will help soften the edges in healing relationships. Learning to be vulnerable helps, too, and it’s hard because our society likens vulnerability with weakness. Brene Brown give a great talk about vulnerability on Ted Talks. Just as important as taking responsibility is remembering that you did the best you could.
When we begin to heal a relationship it is a good idea to create safe boundaries for ourselves and our loved one. Marriage or partnership counselling provides a safe place to talk and air your feelings. Another technique to establish a safe boundary is setting aside time to talk. If we are in the middle of an argument, nobody is going to listen to what the other has to say. The idea is to agree to give each other equal time to talk, listen and not interrupt. We repeat back what we heard to the one who talked. Listening for five minutes can be difficult, especially if we feel unseen or misunderstood.
Building trust is another key to healing relationships. It’s accomplished often through our actions, through patience and our willingness to change. We know you will do your best to heal your relationship, and sadly sometimes it can’t survive. Love has it’s own pathway alongside of recovery.
Treatment can be a transformative process when you find a program that works for you as well as with you. At Infinity Treatment Centers, lasting recovery is attainable at last. Our luxury residences offer the highest privacy and comfort while our clinical program provides the personalized approach necessary for infinite change. Call us today for information: (844) 399-0438