How Do I Live With Narcissism?

Narcissism is a two fold personality issue that falls into either grandiosity or vulnerability. Grandiose narcissists have a superior ego problem, constantly inflating themselves above others. Using manipulation, leveraging, and other tactics, they use people to their advantage to boost their image. Vulnerable narcissists have an inferior ego problem, resorting to the same tactics but typically in a much more dramatic way. At the core of the ego problem with narcissism is a deep issue with self-esteem and self-worth. Recovery from narcissism is possible when someone can learn to identify who they are and change their behaviors. Recovering from narcissism isn’t a one way street. If you are in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic personality disorder, there are certain steps you need to take to help yourself and your partner heal.

Learn To Differentiate What Needs Response And What Doesn’t

One of the ways narcissism stays alive is by enabling it. Falling prey to every manipulation and effort leaves you struggling and helps your partner stay in their negative behaviors. Learning to discern what needs a response and what doesn’t will help you ignore some of the lengths they go to when they are trying to get their way. When they realize their efforts aren’t working any longer, they will quickly stop.

Stay Cool When They’re Heated

Anger and rage are powerful manipulation tactics. For someone with narcissistic personality disorder, they can be an only way of expressing frustrated fear connected to insecurity. Whether they are blowing up at a waitress or yelling at you because of something they feel they did wrong, learning to maintain your composure when they fall apart will help them recognize their behaviors. Instead of getting in a fight, screaming pitch, or falling apart under their abuse, you learn to stand your ground and minimize their negative coping mechanisms.

Be The Grown Up

Narcissism for most people starts in childhood, resulting in childlike coping mechanisms which can include temper tantrums, throwing things, and acting out of control. It isn’t your job to be codependent and try to fix them, teach them, or soothe them when they are processing. Instead, you have to transcend the immaturity and remain the grown up. Acknowledge their difficulty and remind them they are learning new tools for dealing with their extreme emotions.

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