Those of us in recovery can have a tendency to beat ourselves up for all the things we think we really messed up. While we may have behaved poorly or hurt others, we must continually remind ourselves that we may have done so, not because of an intrinsically challenged personality, but because of an addiction. In addition to an addiction, we could also suffer from a mental disorder that could make life more challenging.
Looking ahead in recovery instead of behind can help heal ease shame or guilt. True, we’re not going to just brush the past under the rug. Counseling can help us deal with difficult feelings and low self esteem, and to learn coping skills. It can provide valuable information about addiction and why we may have been trapped by it. Think of professional help as a means towards giving ourselves the best possible future.
It takes courage to learn to forgive ourselves and look ahead especially if we have low self esteem. We need to figure out what changes we want to make, and how to make them. What if we were lousy at communication, not only by what we said, or didn’t say, but our tone of voice. Perhaps we weren’t aware of our tone of voice. We learned of our impact in a family program at our rehab when our spouse and or children had the courage to inform us how angry we used to sound. Their information is a great gift. From there forward we can be more cognisant of our tone of voice.
Practice mindfulness in regards to what sensations we are having in our body. When we notice we are clenching our teeth we can ask ourselves, what am I feeling right now? We may notice our arms are crossed and our feet are very cold. Our bodies supply us with information about how we are experiencing the present moment. By tuning in to ourselves we can take a direct approach to amending our feelings or taking a more appropriate direction.
The idea is to look at what’s in front of us today and take positive action for remediation, rather than allow negative feelings to take over. Being proactive can boost our moral and build self confidence. I am going to apologize to my spouse or children for using a stern tone of voice which was totally unnecessary. I will tell her or him, that I am working very hard to change my behavior.
“The door is round and open. Don’t go back to sleep.”—Rumi
A relapse is just another step towards lasting recovery. You’ll find positive and compassionate care at Infinity Malibu’s hillside estate whether you are coming for the first or second time. Healing from an addiction takes time. Call us today because your life and happiness matter. 888-266-9048