Let’s begin by validating your feelings—not being understood is lousy. Who comprises your group of nobody? If you are new to recovery individual family members and the friends who don’t understand you may not want to look at their own drinking or drugging habit or addiction. Perhaps they scoffed at your new found freedom and it hurt. You expected and wanted a different reaction—a congratulations would have sufficed.
When you feel misunderstood, no matter what it is, you have things to consider and questions to ask. First of all, is the statement, Nobody Understands Me, coming from a young part of you? That is, the child who stormed off to his or her room so many years ago? Often when we feel hurt old parts of us get triggered and emerge to defend us. Then there is the matter of who comprises Nobody. Do you think everyone in your life doesn’t understand you? Perhaps not. Exaggeration can be a defense. There’s no shame implied here, just information to help you understand and cope with your hurt feelings.
One of the challenges in living a sober life is going with the flow. People, not matter if they are friends, family, neighbors or colleagues, are going to have their own opinions and reactions to your sobriety. They get to have them. You get to walk away hurt. You also have the option to figure who to relay information to so as not to open yourself to being hurt the next time. Remember, you can be particularly vulnerable when new to sobriety.
You’ve learned something about yourself, great, but how are you going to make your hurt feelings go away? You can’t make them go away, but you can distract yourself by engaging in some activity you love. Better still, you can attend the recovery meeting of your choice.
You may be wondering what to do with your feeling in conjunction with the statement, you can’t make them go away. You sure could numb them out when you were drinking or taking drugs. You needed to because somethings were too hard to bear. In recovery you learn to acknowledge the hurts that inevitably come your way in your new life. You learn to carry them until they wash through you. It’s like a bad cut finger. It hurts like crazy. Each day it feels a little better. Then, one day, you don’t notice it at all.
Take a breath the next time you want to say nobody understands you. Consider saying, I understand my intention to live a sober and fulfilling life and that’s what matters. Learning to look inward for reassurance takes practice. You can do it!
Treatment can be a transformative process when you find a program that works for you as well as with you. At Infinity Treatment Centers, lasting recovery is attainable at last. Our luxury residences offer the highest privacy and comfort while our clinical program provides the personalized approach necessary for infinite change.
Call us today for information: (855) 544-0611