Do you deflect compliments because you truly feel you don’t deserve? Do compliments make you feel uneasy? Perhaps you think you’ll be perceived as a better person if you sidestep them. Of course a compliment can be manipulative—someone wants you to like them, so they throw out a compliment. Compliments can also be genuine.
The way we handle a compliment may be indicative of how we feel about ourselves. When we’ve been sober and clean for a while, we may still be harboring the self-loathing and disgust we felt about ourselves when we entered recovery. It was natural for us to feel badly about ourselves then because we didn’t understand the power of our disease and how it controlled our behavior.
Many people in recovery move on from poor self reflection to a positive perspective of who they are in the current moment. Others don’t. If the perspective you have of yourself is lousy, it’s time to take a look at what you are gaining from it. Ask yourself, am I really a bad person? Perhaps you think you are bad because you haven’t dared to consider the alternative. You resist feeling good about yourself because you carry around shame and guilt and all sorts of negative feelings, and think punishing yourself is the only game in town. Getting into therapy can help free us from this malaise.
It’s time to throw away the self-deprecating tapes and begin a new assessment. Healing from addiction and coming into our own requires us to forgive ourselves and move on. Our friends in and beyond the walls of recovery most likely want this for us. Have you ever been apart of an exercise in which individuals in the group write down all the positive things they think about us and each other, and then read them outloud? Participants new to recovery are often amazed and overwhelmed by the positive feedback they receive.
It’s time to reassess and recalibrate our self perception. We need to put handcuffs and a muzzle on the part that wants us to stay stuck. Now, just like the exercise, we make a list of all the positive thoughts we really think about ourselves. Are they true? Accurately naming our attributes is the key. We’re not bragging or minimizing. Knowing who we really are is being genuine and authentic. It’s what we learn in recovery.
Start the new year with a new take on life. Recovery is your new chance at living. Lasting recovery is possible through infinite change. At Infinity Malibu, our clinical program is run by leaders in the addiction field. Providing cutting edge treatments, our program offers a transformative process. Infinite change. Infinite recovery. Call us today for information: 888-266-9048