Wanting to be seen and recognized for the work you’ve done in recovery is natural. Unfortunately people who knew you when you were drinking or drugging may not know how to compliment you on the changes you’ve made. Depending upon how long you’ve been in recovery, they may be secretly afraid you will pick up again. This can be disheartening.
If you are looking to be validated for your progress, you might want to think about why. When you were a child did you try to excel at school or in sports? Did you do this because you wanted to for your own sake or interests, or to elicit attention from your family. If you succeeded maybe they would love you the way you wanted to be loved? If this is your case, and your skills and successes were never validated, the child part of you might still be searching for recognition.
There is no shame attached to your need for validation. Everybody likes to be seen and have their accomplishments acknowledged. Some need this more than others, and there are those who don’t want to be seen at all. They could be shy and have an introverted personality.
When you recover you are in essence rebuilding your self. If you weren’t validated as a child, your self esteem could have been damaged. People with low self esteem tend to seek validation outside of themselves. Boosting your self esteem can take a long time, but when it grows, you might find you no longer seek or need outside validation. It will come from inside you—you’ll validate yourself.
What can you do to boost your self esteem? One suggestion is to spend time with people who love you. If you tell yourself that no one love you, think again. You also could benefit from therapy. Therapists are trained to help you see what you are blind to see and feel. They can be a vital part of your recovery, and they will, when appropriate, validate your growth and your feelings.
Your recovery is so important. You are brave and courageous to dig down in the cellar where the hurt lies, pull out the rotten timber and rebuild your life.
“We’re all a beautiful, wonderful work in progress….Embrace the process!”
― Nanette Mathews
Infinity Malibu brings clients together with our staff of professionals for addiction treatment leading to lasting recovery. Your experience with us will be a transformative one. We offer discretion, holistic approaches, healthy food and breathtaking ocean views. Come join us. Please call 888-266-9048